Pay up.

I think the favourite way someone has ever described the way I live is by calling it an "Alternative Lifestyle". I live, breath, and work in the outdoors, almost exclusively year round, teaching cross country skiing, kayaking, canoeing, and then guiding for the bulk of the summer. Part of that involves moving for work, which has its benefits and drawbacks.

Though I have had many jobs, including odd jobs as a kid, this past year was the first in which I have had the chance to work consistently. No papers, no projects, no lectures that weren't self driven or for work, it was nose to the grindstone to make a dime.

For the past year, I have worked almost exclusively for the Calgary Outdoor Centre, for whom I am a Supervisor, Instructor and Guide. During the winter, I spend my days working in the shop, making sure things run smoothly, people aren't slacking off while I sip my tea and think of what life would be like if that place had windows. On the weekends, I would teach at least one, maybe two classes worth of cross country ski lessons, and would occasionally throw in one in some evening in the middle of the week, just to mix things up. Once May came, I would be teaching Sea Kayak courses around town and in the mountains, as well as running rescue clinics in the pool from time to time.

Then, finally, what my whole year leads up to: June. I pack up my car, hug all my friends and then move my life out to Vancouver Island, to live the dream guiding Sea Kayak trips in the Broken Group Islands. Paddling by day, Ukulele by night, life doesn't get much better than that.

Until it comes time to pay the bills.

I've been hailed as being "incredibly frugal", tending to only buy what I need, replacing what needs to be replaced, and taking advantage of the word "free" as often as I can. I have only been broke once in my life, and that was when I mis-budgeted while in Australia and gave up eating so that I could have a roof over my head.

I love what I do, and will never give up what I love for money, but this year has left me with a challenge to "make ends meet". Between the purchasing of a beautiful kayak named Carpathia, and excessive rent, it seems the money I had made has evaporated like morning fog on the ocean. For the first time, I am starting to realize that love may house your heart, but it does not house your head. Nor does it feed your stomach, or clothe your body. Love may keep you warm inside, but my bank balance doesn't change simply because I enjoy what I do.

It is at this apex that I must begin to make a choice. I cannot give up my love of the ocean - and with a promotion on the horizon (dependant on the certification I am to be tested for in 2 weeks), the summers is not the problem.

My winters, though I feel like they are full of nothing but work, do not provide enough income to live outside of the office. The chances I get to ski for myself, or do weekend trips of my own are next to none.  Even when I get the chance to let loose and do something for me, the option to afford these adventures is ruled by my bank statement. Shouldn't I be working so I can afford to play? It seems that I am working so I can afford to pay.

I consider myself lucky to have no debt. To have had the support of my family, and opportunity to go to post secondary. To have had this year of work,  to come to the other side and THEN have to go "well shit", instead of that thought penetrating every swipe of my card. I can only imagine what life is like where your paycheque never really touches your hands before you have to put it into someone else's hands. I feel fortunate to be learning this now, rather than later, but know I could have thought of it sooner had I been just a little smarter. Being frugal doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

Though my love of the outdoors is a driving force in my life, it seems the time has come to start venturing indoors. To do my time in confines so I can earn my precious moments in the yard.